One time I was on the Irving Park bus going from Irv and St. Louis to Irv. Lincoln and Damen to see the Air Force Recruiter. I was sitting towards the back when a kid about 15-16 years old gets on and walks straight to the back bench seat, …pulls out a magic marker and starts tagging the back of the bus. Across from me, a really big dude, probably in his 40’s looks back and sees this kid tagging and freaks the fuck out…. He says “is that graffiti? Is that graffiti? IS IT! IS IT! I HATE THAT SHIT!!!” and he proceeds to start beating the fucking holy shit out of this kid. I mean he was coming from downtown with some haymakers and after the first miss or two, all the rest were bull’s-eyes. This guy was big and the kid was well, a kid, and the big guy had the kid trapped in the corner and there was no escaping. The bus driver stopped the bus and got on the radio. I was not about to fuck up my chance to get into the military so I regretfully did what everyone else on the bus did. Just sit there and pretend like nothing out of the ordinary was going on. The big guy finally stopped beating on the kid who was either dead, unconscious or playing possum. I was watching the big guy, who was breathing so hard I thought he was gonna have a heart attack but he didn’t, he puked all over the bus, himself, the kid and one of the cops who was escorting him off of the bus. I again did what everyone else did and jumped off of the bus because the vomit smelled like a trifecta of junk food, the clown, the king and the cowboy hat. Mc Donalds, Burger King and Arbys. yummy.

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